The Marriage | God's Wisdom on Giving Love

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim and Kathy Keller is a profound exploration of the Christian understanding of marriage, based on Biblical principles. The book offers a theological approach to relationships, focusing on how we can understand and experience marriage as a sacrament, a relationship designed by God Himself to reflect His love.

Here follows a comprehensive summary:

1. The Biblical Foundation of Marriage

Tim and Kathy Keller begin the book by placing marriage within the larger framework of God's plan for the world. They emphasize that marriage is not just a human institution, but something established by God Himself. In the creation of Adam and Eve, we see that God intended marriage as a mission of love and connection between man and woman. Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church, and it is through this lens that the book examines the role of love in marriage.

2. The Two Essential Components of Love

The Kellers explain that there are two essential aspects of love that must come together in a marriage: receiving love and giving love. Giving love is the sacramental aspect of marriage – love that is not only focused on personal fulfillment but on the other. In this context, marriage is presented as a means to learn to love in a way that does not always feel natural but is fundamental to the Christian vision of unconditional love.

Giving love is presented as the practical foundation of a marriage. This means that one does not love only for what one receives, but is also willing to sacrifice oneself for the other, following Christ's self-sacrificing love for the church.

3. The Meaning of Grace in Marriage

Grace plays a central role in the vision that Tim and Kathy Keller have of marriage. Marriage is not always easy, and there will be times of miscommunication, arguments, and dissatisfaction. In these moments, the Kellers emphasize that marriage must be based on grace – the ability to forgive each other, support each other, and not hold grudges. Grace in marriage means accepting your partner despite their shortcomings and mistakes, because God has also accepted us despite our shortcomings.

4. The Roles of Husband and Wife

An important theme in the book is discussing the Biblical roles of husband and wife in marriage. The Kellers explain that the Bible emphasizes both the equality of men and women and the idea that they have different roles in their relationship. The husband is called to lead his wife with self-sacrificing love, while the wife is called to support and respect her husband. The emphasis, however, is not on dominance or power differences, but on mutual equality and respect.

They point out that these roles do not imply a hierarchy, but are rather complementary. The husband and wife are equal, but have different ways of serving each other and strengthening the marriage. The roles fulfilled in marriage are meant to work together, with the marriage as a whole reflecting the mutual love between Christ and the Church.

5. Marriage as Unity and Community

An important aspect of marriage is the unity it brings. Marriage is not just a contract between two people, but a deep connection of body and soul. This is illustrated by the concept of being one flesh from Genesis. The Kellers point out that this is not only physical unity but also emotional and spiritual connectedness. Marriage is meant to be a place of community and intimacy, where two people can fully share with each other, support each other, and grow in their relationship with God.

6. Marriage and the World

The book also discusses how marriage is not just a personal matter, but a witness to the world. Marriage is a means to show the world what the relationship between Christ and the Church looks like. By looking after each other in love and sacrifice, marriage becomes a testimony of God's faithfulness and His plan for the world.

7. Challenges in Marriage

Tim and Kathy Keller are realistic about the challenges that come in every marriage. They discuss issues such as communication problems, conflicts, disappointments, and even the influence of culture and society on marriage. They emphasize the importance of building a solid foundation in your marriage through prayer, Bible reading, and community with other believers. In times of difficulty, it is essential to return to the core values of grace, love, and self-sacrifice.

8. Marriage as Sacred

The Kellers conclude the book with the thought that marriage is a sacred institution, a place where God Himself is present and where the partners can use their relationship to draw closer to God. Marriage is an opportunity for personal sanctification and spiritual growth. It is meant to reflect how God has shown His love for the world and to serve as a means to make the holiness of God visible in daily life.

Conclusion

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God offers a thorough and biblical view of marriage, emphasizing mutual love, self-sacrifice, and the calling to serve each other. The Kellers provide insight into the deeper meaning of marriage, not only as a personal relationship but as a way to reflect God's love in the world. They emphasize that a successful marriage is built on the fundamental principles of grace, love, and cooperation. The book offers both practical insights and spiritual wisdom for couples who want their marriage to flourish in line with God's plan.